A Sense of Belonging - Simplicity Study Groups
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about my life and my life’s purpose. Honestly, I seem to have lost my joy somewhere and I am having a hard time finding it. There are many reasons that have brought me to this point but what can I do to recover and see the real beauty in the things around me again?
I am a huge fan of being grateful for what you have: Let’s face it, if you are in this country, the US, you have it made compared to people living in undeveloped and even developing countries. And, even if you think you are at the bottom of the food chain, you should take another look around. How many people do you know or know of that have cancer or some other terrible disease? How many people do you know that have enormous financial burdens to the point that they are consumed with worry? How many people do you know who live in poverty every day and don’t have any idea where there next meal will come from? Maybe you have some similar problems but you can always look around you to find someone who is in more desperate circumstances.
The sad reality is that we all get caught up in our own problems. And yes, these problems are real and they often seem enormous to us - at least until we take a step back and look at the big picture.
For me though, something is missing. I am not referring to financial independence - I gave that up several years ago to be a stay-at-home mom. I am also not talking about the materialistic things that I don’t have - those things don’t really matter to me. I have never been a big spender, I don’t like to shop (I know, strange for a woman), and I don’t really care what the Joneses think about what type of car I drive or the house that I live in. What seems to be bothering me is my lack of belonging; my lack of community involvement; my need to be around and with people and the fact that I now spend most days with my daughter (not complaining - I love every minute of it) and the occasional phone call from distant friends and family to keep me connected.
Most of my ties in TN have already been severed. Not by my choice. That is just how things often happen when people aren’t together on a regular basis.
Of course, moving away from any place that has been ‘home’ for a while leaves one feeling a little lost. There is a huge adjustment period. This is true for everyone even if the move is returning to your own hometown after being away for a few years. Things change. People change. Time does not stand still or wait for anyone.
I know that a lot of people can move around without all of that emotional stress and that has been true for me, in the past. But now, I am struggling. I am just a very socially driven person - I really need to fellowship with others on some frequency. OK. Maybe needi is too strong. I mean, how did homesteaders deal with living ‘out’ and not seeing anyone but immediate family for weeks and even months? It wasn’t like they could load up in the family minivan like many rural families do today, to head to the city park for a play date! Of course, they did get together regularly for celebrations, deaths, and TO HELP each other with projects and gardening. They also had regular socials that included food, fiddles, and dancing. Does this type of living still exist? I suppose with the Amish. But I don’t think I can be Amish? Can I? Or maybe in other countries? Maybe those tribes in Brazil that have never been contacted?
I am involved in some moms groups that have provided some contact with adults recently. They have some wonderful events and activities that I enjoy. But I haven’t really clicked with anyone. And I am not a big ‘MOMS Night Out’ person. I like being home in the evening with my husband and daughter. I don’t think we have enough family time as it is - maybe it is because DH works so much? Hum?
So what is a girl to do? With all of my research on improving my health and well-being, as well as that of my family, I have made some minor changes. You know - organic foods, all natural personal care products, etc.. All of these things seem to have many common and mutual turf. I have found that people living simply are also living green and vice versa. The same is true for folks living frugally; simplicity is one of their dear friends. And us green folk, well, unless we are are arguing amongst ourselves about things like overpopulation (you know, breeders vs. non-breeders), are mostly living simple and frugal lifestyles. Many of these groups have very similar beliefs (no, not religious beliefs) with an occasional philosophical difference.
So, where does that leave me? Oh yeah. I was considering moving to Brazil, right? Is that an option? Probably not.
So that leaves me right here in Bloomington, Indiana with no family, no real friends yet, and a deep longing to feel connected again. I need to feel wanted and needed by someone other than my DH and DD (not that having them want and need me is a bad thing - far from it)! I just need a sense of purpose.
I have looked into volunteering in the community but that is almost impossible with a toddler (unless you get a sitter - not really into sitters either especially when I barely know a soul here). I spend time at the library but you can’t really chat at the library. You know - SHHHHH! And park play-days aren’t very good places for bonding - too busy making sure the little dumpling isn’t jumping from the top of the play-set!
But after deep thought and while reading Circle of Simplicity by Cecile Andrews, I have decided to start a Simplicity Study Group in Bloomington. I checked out the simpleliving.net website and discovered there was not a group in Bloomington. My original plan was just to join a group already in progress - no luck on that one. So I just started one myself. Yeah for me!
I am not sure if anyone will join me but I really hope so. I am even hoping to have some part of it online for those who want to participate outside the Bloomington area (if anyone wants to). My next few blog posts will be focused on this group and the process outlined in the The Circle of Simplicity. If you want to join in, just send me an email or add a comment to this post.
Let’s see what we can do together to improve our own lives as well as the lives of those around us. Not to mention the positive impact we can have on our wallets and the world. Just a few of us really can make a difference.
